How To Put A Condom On A Circumcised

So, you're here because you want to know how to put on a condom, right? No judgments, we're all friends here. Let's dive into this, shall we?

First Things First

Before we start, let's make sure you've got the right condom. Size matters, folks. Too small, it's like trying to squeeze into last year's jeans. Too big, it's like wearing your grandma's knitting - it's just not right. And hey, while we're at it, check the expiry date. No one wants a party popper that's past its prime.

Now, Let's Get Down to Business

Alright, so you've got your condom, it's the right size, and it's not older than your grandpa's jokes. Great! Now, let's get it out of the packet. Carefully, carefully. We don't want a race against time here, do we?

Once it's out, hold the condom between your thumb and index finger. The reservoir tip should be at the top. If it's not, don't panic, just flip it over. It's like turning a sock right-side out, but less tricky, I promise.

Meet the New Kid on the Block

Alright, so you've got your condom, it's out of the packet, and it's the right way up. Now, let's introduce it to your circumcised friend. Gently, gently. We're not trying to make it dance the tango here.

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Hold the condom like a little hat, with the opening rolled over your thumb and index finger. Then, place it over the tip of your penis. Easy peasy, lemon squeezy, right?

Rolling It On

Now comes the fun part. Start rolling the condom down, using your other hand to hold the base of your penis. Take your time, there's no rush. It's like rolling out cookie dough, but with less flour and more... well, you know.

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Keep rolling until the condom is all the way on. If you've got some extra condom left over, that's okay. It just means you've got a bit of extra protection. Safety first, folks!

And That's a Wrap!

Congratulations, you've just put on a condom like a pro! Now, let's talk about taking it off. Yes, that's important too. When you're done, hold the condom at the base and withdraw while it's still hard. Then, throw it away in a bin, not down the toilet. We don't want any surprises later, do we?

And there you have it, folks. Putting on a condom is as easy as pie. Well, maybe not that easy. But you get the gist. Practice makes perfect, so keep at it. And remember, safety is always the best policy. Now, who's ready for another coffee?