What Does The Bible Say About Sex

Alright, let's talk about the big 'S' word. You know, the one that's been around since Adam and Eve. Sex, folks! Now, you might be thinking, "Why on Earth would I want to read about this in the Bible?" Well, buckle up, 'cause it's actually quite a ride.

Let's Start at the Beginning

You know the story. Adam and Eve, naked as jaybirds, wandering around Eden. Now, here's where it gets interesting. After they chow down on that forbidden fruit, suddenly they're all, "Whoa, I'm naked!" and scramble for some fig leaves. Why the sudden modesty? Because, my friends, they just realized they were sexually different. Talk about a lightbulb moment!

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Fast forward to Genesis 2:24, where we get the first mention of marriage. "Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh." Sounds like a wedding vow, right? But here's the kicker: this is actually a sex ed class. The 'one flesh' bit is a euphemism for, well, you know. It's like the Bible's saying, "Hey, kids, this is how you make babies!"

Proverbs: The Bible's Sex Column

The Book of Proverbs is like the ancient world's Cosmo. It's full of advice on love, sex, and relationships. Take Proverbs 5:18-19, for instance: "Rejoice in the wife of your youth, a lovely deer, a graceful doe. Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight; be intoxicated always in her love." Now that's some steamy stuff right there!

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Sex Outside of Marriage: A Big No-No

Now, the Bible's not all fun and games. It's pretty clear that sex outside of marriage is a no-no. In Leviticus 18, there's a whole list of sexual no-no's, from adultery to bestiality (yes, really). It's like the Bible's saying, "Hey, keep it in your pants until you're married, folks!"

Song of Solomon: The Bible's Erotic Poem

But wait, there's more! The Song of Solomon is basically the Bible's version of Fifty Shades of Grey. It's all about a man and a woman expressing their love and desire for each other. There's even a bit where the woman compares her lover's mouth to a "dripping honeycomb" (Song of Solomon 4:11). I mean, come on, that's some serious foreplay!

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Sex in the New Testament: Love and Respect

Now, let's talk New Testament. Jesus doesn't say much about sex, but when he does, it's all about love and respect. In Matthew 19:4-6, he's asked about divorce, and he responds by quoting Genesis and saying, "Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, 'Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh'? So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate." It's all about unity and commitment.

So there you have it, folks. The Bible's got a lot to say about sex, from the very beginning to the New Testament. It's not all fire and brimstone, either. There's love, respect, and even a little bit of naughtiness. So next time you're reading the Good Book, remember, it's not just about spiritual growth - it's about the birds and the bees, too.