How To Masterbate In The Shower

So, there I was, a few weeks into my new apartment, and I'm in the shower, you know, doing my thing. Suddenly, I realize, "Hey, I've got a whole extra hand here!" And that, my friends, is how I discovered the joy of shower masturbation. Now, I'm not saying I'm an expert or anything, but I've had enough practice to share some tips. So, grab your towel, let's dive in.

Why the Shower, Though?

First off, let's address the elephant in the room. Why the shower? Well, for starters, it's a private space. You're not likely to be interrupted, unless your roommate has a thing for dramatic entrances. Plus, the warm water can be quite... stimulating. It's like nature's lube, am I right?

Preparation is Key

Before you step in, there are a few things to consider. First, lube. Yes, even with all that water, you'll still need it. Grab your favorite water-based one. Silicone and oil-based lubes can mess with your shower's sealant, so avoid those. Also, consider the temperature. Too hot, and you might pass out. Too cold, and you'll be shivering instead of... you know.

Now, let's talk about grip. If you've got a slippery bar of soap in your hand, you're not going to have much control. So, consider a shower grip or a suction cup toy. They're designed for this exact purpose. And hey, if you're feeling fancy, there are even waterproof vibrators out there.

Positioning Matters

Alright, you're in the shower, lube is applied, grip is secure. Now what? Well, that depends on what you like. Some people prefer standing, leaning against the wall for support. Others like sitting, either on the shower floor or a shower chair. If you've got a big tub, that can be an option too. Just remember, safety first. Don't want to slip and fall, trust me.

10 Shower Sex Positions That Actually Work | Flawless World

One thing to note, and I can't stress this enough, is to keep your head out of the water. It's tempting, I know, but water can get in your ears and cause all sorts of issues. Trust me, you don't want to be dealing with a ear infection after your shower fun.

Clean Up Your Act

Alright, you've finished, you're feeling great. Now it's time to clean up. First, wash your hands. You just had them... you know where. Then, clean up the shower. Lube can make the floor slippery, so it's important to wipe that down. And hey, while you're at it, you might as well clean the rest of the shower. It's not like you've got anything better to do, right?

How to Masturbate with Showerhead: Safe & Fun Guide

Safety First

Before I wrap up, let's talk safety. First, never use electrical appliances in the shower. That includes your phone, your speaker, even your electric toothbrush. Water and electricity don't mix, and you don't want to be the star of a horror movie.

Also, if you've got any cuts or wounds, be careful. The water can sting, and you don't want to get an infection. And finally, if you're sharing a bathroom, be respectful. Clean up after yourself, and maybe leave a little something for the next person. Like a nice, clean shower.

And there you have it, folks. My guide to shower masturbation. I hope you found it helpful, and maybe even a little funny. Remember, it's all about what feels good for you. So, go forth, get wet, and have fun. Just be safe, and clean up after yourself. Your future self will thank you.